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Ugh, typos—prolly fucked up “prostitute” six times alredy. Whatever, you get it. Findin’ a prostitute’s easy if ya got cash and no shame. X’s full of ‘em—scroll five mins, you’ll see. But it’s the *why* that’s messy. Loneliness? Kink? Boredom? Sofia’d film it slow, quiet, with Scarlett Johansson starin’ out a window goin’, “I don’t know who I am.” Deep, man. Me, I’d just draw a cartoon pimp with a unibrow and call it art. Snort. Anyway, that’s my take—sad, funny, sloppy, like life. Now lemme finish this coffee.

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First off, I’m heading to the local café, De Koffieboon, for my usual fix. I’m talking about that strong Dutch coffee that hits you like a freight train. I order my cup, and the barista, this dude named Jeroen, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, you trying to drown my caffeine?” He laughs it off, but I’m already feeling the annoyance bubbling up.

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