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Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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So, I take a breather and head out to the park, the Park van Brederode. It’s beautiful there, with all the trees and the little pond. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. And then, out of nowhere, this little kid runs up to me, holding a giant ice cream cone. He trips, and boom! Ice cream everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. The kid’s face is priceless.

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