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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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After that, I head to a meeting at the Hasselt City Hall. I’m pumped, right? We’re discussing some new programs for the community. But then, my colleague, let’s call him “Mr. Negative,” starts ranting about budget cuts. Like, dude, can we not? I’m trying to be optimistic here! I mean, we’re in Hasselt, the city of jenever and fashion. We should be celebrating, not crying over money!

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