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About Utrecht

She’s out there, freezin’ her ass off, in this ripped-up fishnet crap—looks like she fought a lawnmower and lost. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet Jesus, lady, get a coat!” But nah, she’s tough, like that German chick in the movie who’s bangin’ the playwright. “I am my own person!” she’d say, but this prostitute? She’s owned by the streets, man. Pisses me off! Why’s she gotta do that? I’m yellin’ in my head, “Get a job, hippie!” But then I’m like—wait, this IS her job. Ha! Respect my freakin’ authoritah, I’m deep as hell!

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First stop, I’m at the Vischmarkt. It’s this cute lil’ fish market, and I’m all about that fresh seafood life. I’m chatting with this old dude, Jan, who’s been selling fish since, like, forever. He’s got stories, man. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a herring right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” Jan’s cracking up, and I’m just mad. Like, who knew seagulls were such thieves?

Dolfinarium is "making clowns"of animals in shows, agency claims