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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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So, we’re trying to break in, and I’m feeling like a criminal. We finally manage to get a window open, and Joris climbs in like a ninja. I’m just outside, cracking up. “You’re the worst burglar ever!”

Rotterdam homes worth under €355K can’t be rented out