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Alright, listen up, folks—brothel’s on my mind! I ain’t no stranger to tough topics, y’know, like them jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “The desert’s a harsh mistress,” like they say in that flick—same goes for brothels, I reckon. Hot damn, I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ bout it! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again! That’s my motto when I’m ponderin’ them houses of ill repute.

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While I’m sharpening, I hear this commotion. Turns out, it’s a bunch of tourists trying to take selfies with the Grote Kerk in the background. I mean, it’s a beautiful church and all, but c’mon, it’s not gonna run away! They’re all like, “Look at me! I’m in Gorinchem!” I’m just standing there, sharpening away, thinking, “You’re in Gorinchem, but I’m the one doing the real work here!”

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