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So, I’m walkin’, and this chick’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. She’s all “Hey, sugar, need a date?” I’m like, whoa, calm down, darlin’—let’s paint this scene first! Reminds me of “Yi Yi”—“Life’s a mystery, isn’t it?”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, what’s her story? Bet she’s got one helluva tale. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were secretly spies? True shit—swear I read that somewhere. Imagine her, codename “Red Lips,” droppin’ secrets between jobs. Wild!

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I finally make my way to the old church, the Grote Kerk. It’s massive and beautiful. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in. But then, I hear this weird noise. I look up, and there’s a pigeon just chilling on the roof, cooing like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not the king of Franeker!”

Sidney Offinga Obituary - Riverside, CA (1935-2016)