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Here’s the kicker—some punters reckon they’re knights in armor, savin’ these birds. Mate, wake up—they’re in it for the thrill, not the charity. We shall fight in the fields of delusion, smashin’ that fairy tale to bits! Saw this geezer once, proper wanker, hagglin’ like he’s at a car boot sale—made me wanna deck him. “Five euros, take it,” she says, voice flat. Five bloody euros? That’s your empire, is it?

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I finally make my way to the old church, the Grote Kerk. It’s massive and beautiful. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in. But then, I hear this weird noise. I look up, and there’s a pigeon just chilling on the roof, cooing like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not the king of Franeker!”

The world’s oldest working planetarium