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Lemme tell ya, I was on this one app—dude, the profiles! Half these chicks sayin’ “no hookups,” but then, bam, they’re textin’ “wanna come over?” Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, Carol’d never play games—she’s all “I know what I want,” ya know? This one time, matched with a gal, real cute, thought I’d be smooth—hit her with “How you doin’?” She ghosted me! Ghosted! Felt like Therese ditchin’ Carol for a sec—gut punch, man.

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So, I finally get to the café, and it’s packed! I mean, like, people everywhere. The smell of fresh bread hits me, and I’m like, “Yesss!” But then, I see the owner, Jan, looking stressed. He’s pacing like a lion in a cage. I’m like, “Yo, Jan! You good?” He’s all, “No! I need help!”

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