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But real talk, findin a prostitute ain’t just bout the sex—naw, it’s the stories, the hustle, the LIFE. This one time, she says, a client tried payin her with a damn pigeon—WHAT?! I’m cacklin, like, “Bruh, keep your bird, I need cash!” She’s got jokes, too—calls her pimp “the basement man,” nod to *Zodiac*’s creepy ass villain. I’m obsessed!

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I was already cranky. But then, my assistant, Lisa, walks in with this huge smile. She’s like, “Guess what? We got a grant!” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, that’s awesome! But then I remembered, we gotta write a whole proposal. So, yay, but also, ugh.