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About Amsterdam

Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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I was already cranky. But then, my assistant, Lisa, walks in with this huge smile. She’s like, “Guess what? We got a grant!” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, that’s awesome! But then I remembered, we gotta write a whole proposal. So, yay, but also, ugh.