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About Eindhoven

Whores, man, dey got stories—wild ones! Dis one chick, swear ta God, worked da Vienna red-light district back in da day. Little known fact: she once banged a guy who claimed he invented da strudel—total bullshit, but she rolled wid it! Made me laugh my ass off, ya? Dat’s da spirit—hustle hard, lie harder. Reminds me of Royal Tenenbaum sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” but dis whore? She owned it, no shame, no fucks given!

Hoeren Emmerhout

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So, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this massive crowd. I’m like, “What’s poppin’?” Turns out, there’s a street fair! Food stalls everywhere, music blasting. I mean, who can resist a good ol’ stroopwafel? Not me! I grabbed one, and it was heavenly. Sweet, gooey goodness. Made my day, for real.