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So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up my favorite café on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best apple pie in town. I ordered a slice, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was just about to take a bite when my phone buzzes again. It’s Jan. “We got another call.” I’m like, “Dude, can’t a guy enjoy his pie?” But no, duty calls.

Arnaud De Lie claims the victory at Volta Limburg