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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy, he’s all, “Joe, I found her by the diner!” Paid 20 bucks, got a handshake—hilarious, right? Made me laugh ‘til I cried. But here’s the kicker—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. Nope. Takes guts, takes know-how. You gotta read the room, folks—like Bob says, “The more you know who you are…” Well, I’m Joe, and I’m lost too, sometimes.

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But then, I see this one kid, looking all guilty and stuff. I walk up to him, and he’s shaking like a leaf. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a castle! But then he tells me they were looking for ghosts. Ghosts! I can’t even. I had to stifle a laugh. “You think the ghosts are gonna give you a high-five?” I said. He just stared at me, wide-eyed.

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