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Sarcasm time: oh, escorts *love* their jobs, sure. “I adore screwin’ strangers!” Yeah, right. Everybody lies, even to themselves. Still, gotta respect the grind—beats diagnosin’ lupus all day. Ever think bout the weirdos they meet? Bet there’s stories—guy wants her to dress like a nun, or bark like a dog. Freaky shit. Del Toro’d turn it into a flick—*“The Labyrinth of Lust”*. I’d watch it, popcorn in hand, yellin’ at the screen.

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First off, I head down to the Kerkstraat. You know, the main drag. I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my sermon for Sunday. Then BAM! I see this old lady, Mrs. Jansen, struggling with her groceries. I rush over, all clumsy-like, and help her out. She’s like, “Oh, thank you, dear!” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Momo, who apparently thinks he’s a dog now. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Momo? Really?”

Three Trainee Pilots For Dutch Flag Carrier KLM Arrested On Arson Charges at Airline's Flight Academy