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But, man, it pisses me off sometimes. These escorts zoom by, actin’ like kings, and I’m stuck at a light, late for pizza. Once, I yelled, “Eat my shorts!” at ‘em—felt good, dude. Other times, I’m stoked—saw this slick black car escortin’ some rockstar, guitars pokin’ outta the window! Total badassery. Makes me think, “Maybe I’d rock that job,” y’know? Barkin’ orders on the radio, “Move it, losers!”

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So, I wake up, and it’s one of those mornings where you just know something’s gonna go down. I grab my coffee from the local café on the Damplein. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ my brew, and I see this old dude, like, 80 years old, trying to ride a bike down the narrow streets of Edam. I’m talkin’ about the kind of bike that looks like it’s from the Stone Age. He wobbles, almost crashes into a cheese shop. I’m like, “Dude, maybe stick to walking?” But hey, he’s living his best life, right?

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