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Alright, so here’s the deal with whores—yeah, I said it, whores! Tina Fey comin’ at ya, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibe. Whores, man, they’re everywhere, always have been, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “The Pianist”—Roman Polanski, 2002, my fave, duh—and it hits me. Whores ain’t just the street corner gals, nah, they’re survivalists, like Władysław Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis. “I must go on living,” he says, and whores? Same energy. They’re hustlin’, scrapin’ by, dodgin’ society’s bullshit judgments.

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Finally, I convince him to come down. I’m sweating bullets, but I’m relieved. I tell him about tree safety, and he’s actually listening. I’m like, “See, trees are cool, but they can be dangerous too.” He nods, and I feel like a hero for a sec.

News | Van Duiven extends contract and finishes season at Almere City