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She’s decent, though—cracked a laugh when I said, “Don’t fuck me over, darlin’.” Room’s a shithole—stinks of fags and desperation. Bed creaks like a dyin’ whale—nearly broke me back! But she’s quick—knows her game. “You’re not filming this, are ya?” she snaps. I’m like, “Fuck no, I ain’t Haneke!” Laughed me tits off—proper cheeky mare.

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and she’s laughing. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the one who needs help!” We both crack up, and it’s a nice moment.

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