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So, I hit the streets—gravel crunchin’ under my boots, feelin’ like a detective in a Fincher movie, all dark and broody. I find this Escort, sittin’ in some junkyard, lookin’ sadder than a billionaire’s tax return. Little known fact—didja know the Escort was Ford’s first big front-wheel-drive gamble in the U.S.? Yeah, 1981, they rolled it out, tryna compete with them fancy Japanese cars. Cheap, reliable—kinda like me, ‘cept I’m louder! Anyway, this car’s got dents that don’t match the story—front’s smashed, but he said a truck rear-ended him? Bullcrap! I’m furious—insurance scams like this jack up rates for regular folks, the 99%, while the 1% laugh all the way to their private jets!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling. Turns out, her kid’s stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Seriously? A tree?” So, I climb up, and it’s a whole thing. The kid’s crying, I’m sweating, and I’m thinking, “Why did I even come here?” Finally, I get the kid down, and the mom’s all grateful. I’m like, “Yeah, just another day in Doorn.”

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