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Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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But then, bam! The machine malfunctions. I’m standing there, staring at it like it just insulted my mom. I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a tech support job! I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I could be sipping coffee at the Markt instead.

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