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About Nijmegen

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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After that, I strolled down to the De Meern shopping center. Man, it was packed! Like, I thought I was at a concert or something. I’m weaving through the crowd, trying to avoid bumping into people. And then, BAM! I see this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever. I’m like, “Aww, look at that cutie!” But then, the owner yanks the leash, and the dog almost takes me out. I’m like, “Chill, dude! I just wanna pet your dog!”

Emmelie Scholtens Withdraws Desperado from Olympic Contention