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Oh, fun fact—old-timey prostitutes used coded handkerchiefs. Red meant “I’m down,” yellow was “busy.” She ain’t got no hanky, just attitude. I dig it. Night ends, I’m broke but laughin’. “War’s over, go home,” I mutter—*Hurt Locker* shit. Best 50 bucks ever, fam. Absurd? Hell yeah. Worth it? Bet.

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But then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’re laughing, sharing food, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the guy drops his sandwich, and the dog snatches it up. I can’t help but laugh. Karma, right?

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet