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Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, yeah? Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – sittin’ here thinkin’ bout prostitutes, and man, it’s a trip. Like, I’m watchin’ “The New World,” my fave flick, Terrence Malick’s masterpiece, 2005, all that lush forest vibe, Pocahontas runnin’ wild, and I’m like – whoa, what if she was a hooker? Not sayin’ she was, but twist it up, right? “The land was theirs before they were the land’s,” that’s a line from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes, they own the streets before the streets own them, ya feel me?

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is all hyped about this new project. “We need to calculate the risk of a zombie apocalypse,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” But hey, I’m an actuary, so I roll with it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to calculate the odds of a zombie biting your face off?

Top five architecture and design jobs this week include Royal Academy and 5468796 Architecture