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About Groningen

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

I learned about this when I had some friends go to Afghanistan on a mission trip. They learn about the culture and then blend in.

Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past, and I swear he almost takes out a lamp post. I’m like, “Dude, slow down! You’re not in the Tour de France!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?

This is how Dutch police know you’re buying drugs online