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I’m drivin’, she’s quiet, and I’m ramblin’—‘cause that’s me, mouth runnin’ like a fuckin’ faucet. “You ever feel watched?” I ask, half-jokin’. She laughs, says, “All the time, big guy.” I’m crackin’ up—girl’s got balls! Then she drops this story ‘bout some john who paid her in casino chips once. Chips! Who does that? Fuckin’ degenerates, that’s who. Made me happy, though—love a good hustle.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hoofdstraat. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot. The barista, a dude named Joris, was all smiles. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my breakfast, and this feathered thief decides to make me his breakfast. I was fumin’! I yelled, “Hey! Get your own food, ya punk!” But the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, human?” Ugh, so annoying.

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