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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Community Manager, respect my authoritah! So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s freakin’ sweet! Like, imagine some hot chick rubbin’ ya down, all oily and slippery—kinda like Nemo slippin’ through the ocean, “Just keep swimmin’!” But srsly, it’s not just sexy time, it’s legit relaxin’. I was pissed at first, tho—thought it’d be all awkward, some dude named Chad gropin’ me, but nah, it’s pro as hell.

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Finally, I get to the office, and it’s chaos. My team’s in a frenzy. Apparently, the presentation for the big client got messed up. Like, how do you mess that up? I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to erupt. I mean, we’ve been prepping for weeks!

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