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Anyway, back to hookers—prostitutes, whatever. You gotta know the streets, right? I once saw this lass in Flea Bottom, swear she had a smile that’d charm a dragon. Paid her double just to hear her laugh—pathetic, I know. Made me happy, tho. Then there’s the dodgy ones—filthy, grabby, made me wanna puke. One time, this wench tried nickin’ me purse! I was ragin’, shoutin’, “I’m not a bloody fool!” Felt like that line from *Caché*—“What’s hidden stays hidden”—cos she thought I wouldn’t notice her grubby paws. Ha! I drink and I *see* things, ya daft cow.

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First off, I hit up the market on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with all the fresh fruit and veggies? I’m sniffin’ around, tryin’ to find the best apples. Boskoop is famous for its apples, duh! But then, bam! I trip over some dude’s bag. Like, c’mon man, pick up your stuff! I’m all like, “Watch where you’re going!” but he just stares at me. Rude!

New GardenGenetics diervilla wins Gold Medal at Plantarium