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About Tilburg

Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Snarky Tina Fey mode ON, baby! “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, I’ve seen shadier stuff than Putin’s backyard. So, picture this: me, obsessed with *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*—you know, that Kim Ki-duk flick where the monk’s all “lust leads to ruin”? Yeah, ironic as hell when we’re talkin’ hookers.

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Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s Lisa from the bakery down the street. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, flour on her face. “Help! My oven’s on fire!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But I can’t leave Mr. Jansen hangin’. So I’m like, “Call the fire department!” She gives me this look like I just suggested she jump in the canal.

Vaal Dam overflows, more sluice gates opened