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Fave bit? When you dodge a bullet—some creep goes, “Wanna bang?” and you’re like, “Nah, I’m good, ta.” Power move. *Moolaadé* vibes again—“I protect my own!” Sex-dating’s a jungle, mate. Full of chimps pretending they’re lions. Reckon I’d rather shag a cactus—less prickly personalities. Oi, you tried it? Spill the dirt!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and it’s all good vibes until he starts bragging about his new job. “Oh, I’m making bank now!” I’m like, “Cool, man, but I’m still trying to figure out how to save for a vacation!” It’s all fun and games until you realize your life choices are not as glamorous as you thought.

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