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So, check this, I’m rollin’ downtown, pissed off ‘cause these fools tryna scam me. Some chick’s like, “Fifty bucks, baby!” I’m like, BITCH, PLEASE, I ain’t no rookie! Seen this game before—motherfuckers hikin’ prices ‘cause they smell desperation. Little known fact, tho—back in ‘89, cops busted this ring runnin’ girls outta a damn laundromat. Shady as hell, right? Washin’ clothes and ass on the same dime—fuckin’ wild!

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Then, I decide to take a walk down de Zandweg. It’s a nice street, but the puddles are like mini lakes. I’m dodging them like I’m in some weird video game. And then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a knight in shining armor. I help her out, and she’s all smiles. Makes my day, honestly.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences