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So, sex escort—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, man. Back in ancient Rome, they had these “lupae”—she-wolves, hookers howlin’ at the moon. Little known fact: clients’d follow their calls like dogs! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle—humanity’s horny as hell, always has been. Nowadays, it’s all slick—ads on sketchy sites, coded words like “companionship.” Pisses me off tho—why hide it? Own it, damnit! Be bold, like that alien chick in the movie, lurin’ dudes with no shame.

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Then I decided to check out the Beek Castle. It’s not a castle like you’d think, more like a fancy house. But still, it’s got that vibe, ya know? I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ all artsy, when I see this old lady. She’s sittin’ on a bench, lookin’ all grumpy. I’m like, “What’s up, lady?” Turns out, she’s just mad ‘cause her cat ran away. I felt bad, so I offered to help her look.

Lilly Ver Beek Jumps For The Win & USA At Penn Relays