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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m sittin here thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a goddamn Banderilleros sizin up the bull ring. Life’s a circus, and I’m the ringmaster, baby! Moulin Rouge style, all glitz n’ sin, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”—is where to score some company, right? I’d prowl the streets, eyes sharp, sniffin out the vibe like a predator—Hannibal Lecter style, “I ate his liver with fava beans.” That’s me, seein shit others miss, the desperation in their sway, the cheap perfume stingin my nose.

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So, I ended up at this random café on de Hoofdstraat. I ordered a bitterballen, thinking it’d cheer me up. But the waiter was super slow. I swear, I could’ve knitted a sweater while waiting. Finally, I got my food, and it was cold. Cold! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I took a bite, and it was actually pretty good. I guess I can’t complain too much.

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