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About Groningen

Favorite part? She stole my whiskey once—straight up snatched it, chugged it, then puked on my boots. “Spring break forever!” she slurred, laughin’ like a hyena. Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You’re a freakin’ parasite!” She just winked—WINKED—like I’m the idiot. Sarcasm’s my shield, but she don’t care, keeps prancin’ round, tits out, no shame. Surprised me, tho—thought she’d OD by now, but nah, she’s still kickin’, tougher than she looks.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jeroen. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park on de Klinkenbergerweg.” I’m like, “Not now, man! I’m in crisis mode!” But he keeps texting me pics of this awesome new playground. Kids are laughing, swings are swinging, and I’m just here, stressed out.

Mount Horeb Barneveld defeats Stoughton in week 5 of Friday Football Blitz