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Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a wild ride, innit? Not your average rub-down, nah—this shit’s got history! Ancient Greeks, them randy bastards, were all over it—called it “sensual healing” or some crap. Bet they didn’t have a clue what they started! Fast forward, it’s 2025, and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—fuck me, it’s like *Children of Men* out there, “the world’s gone to shit,” and people still want a sexy knead? Hilarious!
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Then, I had a customer come in. This lady, bless her heart, wanted a custom violin. She was super excited, talking a mile a minute. I was trying to keep up, but honestly, I was still fuming about that scratch. She was like, “I want it to sound like a dream!” And I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m not a magician!” But I smiled and nodded. Gotta keep the customers happy, right?
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