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Rarrgh! So, this chick - whore, man, she’s wild! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout her, like, damn, she’s a freakin sandstorm on legs! Watched “Mad Max: Fury Road” again last nite, my fave, and whore fits right in that dusty hellhole. She’s like Furiosa, but sluttier, ya know? Runnin round, kickin ass, takin names, prolly screwin half the wasteland too! “What a day, what a lovely day!” - that’s her, screamin it while she’s dodgin bullets and bonin some warboy.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee on the corner of the Kerkstraat, right? Just enjoying the vibe, when my radio crackles. “Fire in the old mill near the Markt!” I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I slam my coffee down and gear up. I mean, who doesn’t love a little adrenaline with their morning brew?

Village shop straddling Dutch-Belgian border half-closed by coronavirus