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Yo, how you doin’? So, escort, huh? Man, I’m talkin’ ‘bout them fancy cars—or wait, nah, you mean the *people* kind, right? Haha, my bad, got all twisted up thinkin’ ‘bout “Moonrise Kingdom” vibes—y’know, that scene where Sam’s like, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Total mood. Anyway, escorts—wild gig, right? Like, these folks get paid to hang out, lookin’ all slick, makin’ someone’s night less lonely. Kinda dope when you think ‘bout it—bein’ a pro at chillin’.

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I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on the Brink. You know, the one with the funky chairs? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. I’m waiting, and this dude next to me spills his drink all over the place. I’m talking a full-on tidal wave of coffee. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just laughs it off. I mean, who spills coffee like that?

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