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Anyway, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one, and I see these shady posts – pics of chicks in tight skirts, winks, “DM for fun.” I’m like, hell yeah, jackpot! But then, some asshole bots pop up, “Click here for hot singles,” and I’m ragin’, “Respect my authoritah, you fake-ass scams!” I ain’t gettin’ catfished like some loser – I’m Cartman, I deserve the real deal!

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After that, I stroll down the Hoofdstraat. It’s packed with shops, and I’m feeling a bit spendy. I pop into this vintage store. OMG, they had the coolest stuff! I’m digging through racks, and I find this sick leather jacket. I’m like, “This is it!” But then I check the price tag. Ugh, my wallet just cried. So, I put it back. Sad face.

A CIRCUIT OF FIRSTS: Assen’s history of providing maiden poles, podiums and wins for WorldSBK riders