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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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After that, I decide to check out the Apenheul. You know, the monkey zoo? I’m not even a zoo person, but I’m curious. I get there, and it’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, monkeys swinging. I’m trying to take a selfie with a monkey, but it’s not happening. This little guy just stares at me like, “What’s your problem, human?”

From volunteer to superstar! Femke Bol's journey from Amsterdam 2016 to Apeldoorn 2025