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A mate o’ mine tried it too—thought he’d score big, y’know? Ended up with a lass who smelled like old trout! Hah! We laughed, oh we laughed—stupid git deserved it! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time you get catfish, not pussy! Makes me mad, precious, all them lies! “Who needs truth?” movie asks—nobody on them apps, that’s sure!

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But then, I realize I forgot to mention the best part! The sunset! As I was running back, I caught a glimpse of it over the canal. The sky was all pink and orange, reflecting on the water. It was like a painting. I almost stopped to take a pic, but ya know, deadlines.

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