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Still, there’s moments. Like, I heard in Thailand, they use these herbal compresses, hot and spicy, during the massage. Surprised me, actually felt jealous—I mean, who gets to relax like that? Not me, ruling with iron and fire. But the idea? Kinda hot, no pun intended.

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Now I’m mad. I mean, who lets their dog run wild like that? I look around for the owner, and there’s this guy just laughing. I’m like, “Dude, your dog just ruined my day!” He shrugs and says, “Dogs will be dogs.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m not a dog!”

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