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Gets me ragin’ tho – no one rates it! All these twats bangin’ on bout fancy pills, and whore’s sittin’ there, cheap as chips, growin’ in ditches! Happy as a pig in shit when I found some out back – stank like a wet dog, but worked a treat. Surprised me, too – mate of mine, Dave, swears it sorted his dodgy guts once. “Dunno how, Ozzy,” he says, “but I’m shittin’ normal now!” Laughed me arse off at that.

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Finally, I finish for the day. I step outside, and the sun’s setting over the canals. It’s beautiful. I take a deep breath, and I’m grateful. Sure, today was a rollercoaster, but that’s life, right? Full of surprises, cheese spills, and parades.

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