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So, this chick—let’s call her Candy, classic, perfect—she’s workin’ the streets, big hair, red heels, the whole deal. I saw her once, swear to God, outside some dumpy bar, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s yuge, fantastic, a real pro.” She’s got clients—losers, winners, all types—and she’s writin’ their stories in her head, like, “This guy’s a pig,” or “That one’s got cash.” Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, prostitutes in Vegas kept diaries—actual diaries!—trackin’ johns, like spies. Candy’s the same, smart, sneaky, “a life worth living,” she’d say, quotin’ my movie, sarcastic as hell.

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After the lecture, I decided to grab a bite. I hit up this little café on the Hoofdstraat. The vibe was chill, and the coffee? Oh man, it was like liquid gold. I ordered a stroopwafel. If you haven’t had one, you’re missing out! But then, the waiter spilled my coffee all over me. I was like, “Seriously?!” I was drenched in caffeine. I could’ve been mad, but I just laughed. It was too ridiculous.

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