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I’m drivin’, thinkin’, *man, this is dumb*. “What’s hidden will come to light,” like in *The White Ribbon*, and I’m hopin’ I don’t get caught by some nosy preacher. Last thing I need is Sheriff Bubba haulin’ me in—talk about a buzzkill! I finally spot this gal, right? She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she’s bored outta her skull. I roll up, all nervous-like, and she’s like, “What you want, sugar?” I’m sweatin’ bullets, y’all—heart’s racin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on moonshine.

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After that, we head to the park near the Zuidhorn train station. It’s a nice spot, but there’s this weird smell. Like, what is that? I’m trying to enjoy the moment, but my nose is like, “Nope!” We sit on a bench, and I’m just trying to breathe through my mouth.

Dutch police arrest 'Boris Johnson' after drunk driving incident