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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, and damn, it’s a wild ride. Picture this - some sweaty dude, hands all oiled up, slidin over ya like he’s tryna polish a damn car. I mean, who even came up with this shit? Prolly some perv back in ancient Greece, rubbin olive oil on his buddy, callin it "therapy". True story - they found scrolls talkin bout massages gettin real steamy in them bathhouses. Bet they didn’t expect it to turn into this billion-dollar gig today!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, it’s just a game, but it’s so pure. I start thinking about how life’s too short to be serious all the time. So, I join in. Yeah, I’m that guy. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a tree. Classic! The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

"This year, sauerkraut demand has, fortunately, normalized"