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About Amsterdam

Tie this to *The Social Network*—whores are like Sean Parker, y’know? Flashy, controversial, but damn, they get shit done. “We lived on farms, then we lived in cities, and now we’re gonna live on the internet!” Whores been livin’ on the edges forever, adaptin’, while I’m sittin’ here, whinin’ bout my Wi-Fi. Once, I read this story—true story, swear it—some whore in the 1800s ran a whole secret empire, bribin’ cops, livin’ large. Surprised the hell outta me! Why’s that not a movie? Fincher, where you at?

Zaltbommel – Mediaeval town

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So, I finally get to the Markt. It’s buzzing! People everywhere, vendors shouting about their fresh veggies and cheese. I’m like, “Yesss, give me all the cheese!” But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a wheel of Gouda. Like, bro, it’s cheese, not a car! Just pay the guy already!

Statue of Gerard Philips en route