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About Amsterdam

I tried it, yeah, sex-dating’s my turf now. Got me a date last week, some chick with a profile pic hotter than Miami asphalt. Thought I’d be like, “I’m a gangster, I kill for fun!” – y’know, showin’ off my charm. But nah, she shows up, 10 years older than her pics, talkin’ bout her cats! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my drink, thinkin’, “This ain’t no execution scene, this is torture!” Made me mad as hell – false advertisin’, man, that’s low!

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So, I finally get to the Markt. It’s buzzing! People everywhere, vendors shouting about their fresh veggies and cheese. I’m like, “Yesss, give me all the cheese!” But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a wheel of Gouda. Like, bro, it’s cheese, not a car! Just pay the guy already!

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