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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?
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I get there, and she’s all smiles. But then she sees the coat and goes, “Ugh, I wanted it in black, not brown!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I double-checked the order. But whatever, I’m trying to keep my cool.
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