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I’m sittin’ there, webcam empire runnin’, millions pourin’ in—huge numbers! And I go, “Donald, get a girl, top-notch!” Prostitutes? They’re everywhere, folks, like flies. You just gotta know where—Vegas, baby! Back in ‘92, wild story, true story—guy I knew, Sammy, paid $500 for a chick who sang Sinatra while strippin’. Classy, right? Little known fact—some pros got agents, like Hollywood! Insane, totally insane.

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Then I head over to the Gedempte Gracht. It’s all picturesque and stuff, but I’m just trying to find a decent place to sit. I finally plop down on a bench, and guess what? A kid runs by, and his ice cream goes flying! SPLAT! Right on my shoe. Ugh, great. Now I’m the proud owner of a sticky sneaker.

Investigation into death of William Caceres Marcano, police seek witnesses