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But real talk – it’s not for everyone. Some folk get all prudish, and I’m like, “Chill, it’s not the Dark Lord’s work!” What gets me angry? When judgy twats shame it without tryin’. Drives me up the bloody wall. “The world’s bigger than your eyes,” Malik’d whisper, and I’d nod, cos he’s spot on. Sexual-massage? It’s art, mate, if done right. So, yeah, that’s my ramble – messy, loud, and true. You shall not pass without givin’ it a thought now, eh?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m a watchmaker, right? Ypenburg is my turf. You know, that chill spot in the Netherlands, just a stone’s throw from The Hague. Anyway, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm? Nah, didn’t hear it.

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