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About The Hague

Yo, what’s good, fam? So, escort—man, that shit’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, escorts, right? They’re out there, livin’ that double life, kinda like Viggo Mortensen in *A History of Violence*. “You’re a good man, Tom,” but are ya tho? Hella layers, bruh! One minute they’re all fancy, sippin’ champagne with some rich dude, next they’re dodgin’ creeps in a back alley. Real talk, it’s chaos, pure Eric Andre energy—absurdity on blast!

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When I get there, this lady is practically in tears. “They’re huge!” she says. “Like, bigger than my cat!” I’m thinkin’, lady, your cat must be tiny. But I nod and head up to the attic.